No motivation

I am fighting a lack of motivation, right now, I don’t really want to do anything, when I do things I feel proud of myself, and energized, but getting up, and moving has been very difficult. What I’m actually fighting is probably a bit of depression and a bit of burnout. They kind of go hand in hand for me, I try to fight off an impending wave of depression by working my butt off, only to burn out in a day or two, and crash hard, at that point, I either laze around for days, or I pull myself up by my boot straps, and fight again. I had five days off, and did absolutely nothing for four of them, then on Wednesday I got a call for help from my friend, which suddenly motivated me, and I worked my butt off. Yesterday I went back to work, in the morning, I had to fight myself to get just a few things done, and really wasn’t motivated to go to work either. Once at work, I took the easy way out, and did the simplest jobs to keep me busy, I did my job, but not up to my usual standards, and I was completely distracted. I really desperately need to do better today, this morning is a bit of a bust, the things I’m proud of? Getting my kids and I fed, and dressed in clean clothes, that’s it. I sat for an hr on the deck and knit one row on the toddler sweater I’m working on, and read two blog posts, I don’t know where the rest of the time went.
Well I’ve got 10 minutes to do something before I have to make lunch and get ready for work, my day-home provider invited us to come a little early, and have a tea party. Dh is working late tonight, so I’m bringing one of my heat and eat meals, that DH was supposed to feed the kids tonight, for her to add to their supper, they have been eating there a lot, I guess. I work till nine, and DH has a lot of late nights, so if the kids are there at supper time still, she feeds them. This is why we can’t use daycare

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s